


wesley's day was worse than yours

by godlet



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Gen, Ghost Shenanigans, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Implied Relationships, Stuttering, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 07:25:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6793426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godlet/pseuds/godlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wes is the dumbass who ends up in the Ghost Zone. Phantom is the one to come and save him. Neither of them are particularly happy about this arrangement.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wesley's day was worse than yours

.

Danny just knows this day isn't going to go quite right when he sees Wesley Weston being tossed into the ghost portal by an irate ecto-puss.

 

"Aw, fuck," the young teen curses, carelessly dropping the box full of junk he was instructed by his dad to bring down to the lab. He transforms before it even hits the ground, barreling towards the ecto-puss and shoving both it and himself into the swirling green of the dimensional rift.

 

"Why was Weston even _in_ my basement?" Danny grouses as he punches the ecto-puss in the face (?) so many times that it retreats, crying.

 

He flaps his hands in its direction, deciding to just let that one go as he flies almost carelessly towards where Wes is floating about haphazardly and screaming like the world was ending.

 

Which, to someone who has never been in the hellish dreamscape of the Zone, it probably did seem particularly apocalyptic.

 

"He can't _prove_ anything… that _turd…_ Should've tossed his ass into more than just a trash can when I had the chance…"

 

As the ghost-boy grumbles and lazily drifts towards the singular human rapidly spinning and flailing in the not-air of the Zone, several entities come speeding towards their fleshy target with familiar warbling laughs.

 

"Oh, great," Danny harrumphs, speeding up so that he catches a very unawares Wes by the back of the iconic red varsity jacket. He ignores the startled cry as he deposits his human cargo near one of the many gnarled, ugly trees that station themselves on top of bare floating rocks like constant watchers. "What is this, an _aquarium?"_

 

He sends the ecto-pusses spiraling with a few well-aimed kicks and punches, not even bothering to summon any ecto-energy as these enemies were old hat by now.

 

"Piss," he spits out eloquently as he belatedly notices that the Fenton Portal entrance had floated off to some unseen part of the Zone. Sometimes things would do that here – move away at a disproportionate speed to everything else. One of those atmospheric pockets, maybe, fucking everything up.

 

Speaking of atmosphere…

 

"Hey!" Phantom calls to the shivering and obviously scared out of their wits human slowly being accosted and tangled up in the brittle branches of the tall tree that was groping around like a living entity waiting for its next meal. _"Slightly_ important question: Are you still breathing?"

 

"Y-yes…?" Wes wheezes out hesitantly, trying to get a good look at the ghost-boy despite being nearly sucked into the strangely formless black husk. "Wh – what's – ?"

 

"Can't talk now," Danny responds flippantly as he turns to face some more enemies approaching. They look like balls of green mist, and although he can't really make out their shapes with the constantly shifting dark backdrop of the zone, he's pretty sure they aren't ecto-pusses this time. "Apparently, this place is a goddamn _zoo – "_

 

"A- _ha!"_

 

Danny cries out as something hard and unyielding wraps around his middle, sending him careening head-first into the island below. His confusion is only allowed to last for a few seconds before a shoed foot is holding him down by his shoulder.

 

Oh, hell no.

 

"I know who you are," a triumphant looking Wes crows from above, sweat running down his face and eyes flicking from side to side, "D- _Danny Fenton!"_

 

"Where in the shit did you get the Jack-O-Nine-Tails?" Danny questions with half his mouth buried in the ground. Strangely, or perhaps not strange at all, no dirt is carded up from his landing. He doesn't want to know what these islands are made out of if not dirt or rock. "And you can't prove anything even if you hide around in my basement like a creep! Other than the fact that you. Are. A. _Creep!"_

 

"S-shut up!" Wes barks out, digging his foot into the side of Danny's shoulder. Jokes on him, though, because the ghost-boy's taken hits ten times worse and still gotten up the next morning. "It's because of _you_ and all your _freaky ghost friend_ s that my d-dad – _Wah!"_

 

Whatever stupid egotistical tirade the high schooler might've been about to go on is harshly interrupted by Danny busting through the whips around his body like slips of wet tissue paper, standing up from the floor and managing to look ten feet tall despite only coming up to the other boy's chest.

 

Before he can even open his mouth for a witty declaration or something, a foot is buried into his gut.

 

Danny rolls his glowing green eyes with a "Puh- _lease"_ , sucking the appendage into his body like he's only made of manifesting eldritch goop. And, well, would you look at that? He _is_ made of goop. Fascinating.

 

Wes shrieks and tries to yank his leg out, but Danny is, like, as strong as a supernatural being with no physical limiters outside of its human form, so obviously that isn't going to happen.

 

Which is, of course, right about when those misty green balls that the two warring teens momentarily forgot about catch up with them.

 

"Weasels!" Danny cries, unwittingly releasing Wes' captured foot as he flies into the not-air to dodge the wave of ghostly anger noodles bearing down on them.

 

Wes isn't so lucky, and is bowled over by a bunch of tiny scampering bodies all squealing and rutting and carrying on like it's the animal Armageddon they've been created and waiting for.

 

Which, y'know; as far as Danny knows, this might just be it.

 

It's when more ecto-pusses come flying (ha) around the bend of the island that Danny puts a couple of things together in his head.

 

"You know," the ghost-boy say loftily as he floats above the absolute chaos beneath him, tentacles and claws alike. "I'm starting to sense something _fishy_ here."

 

" _Heeeellp meee!"_ Wes screams from somewhere underneath a pile of undulating weasel bodies.

 

Danny shrugs and jams a hand into the pile, searching half-heartedly with his tongue sticking out for only a few moments before he latches onto something vaguely not-furry-or-goopy, pulling a traumatized and beat up Wes out by the belt loops.

 

"So, like," Danny drawls as Wes hurriedly yanks a frothing ghost weasel out of his pants. "What the hell's got all of these ghost animals after you? As far as I know, only one per – er, ghost – has got control over this many angry dead Fidos."

 

"L-like I'd ever tell you anything!" Wes yells, then screams slightly as Danny flips him acrobatically and easily in the air to transfer the hand-hold from his belt loop to his wrist.

 

"Mmmm…" Danny hums as he floats loftily in the not-air, dodging a few flying weasels lazily while he dangles the human boy quite a few feet away from any sort of land. "How… about now…?"

 

A monstrous moose comes galloping from somewhere that Danny has suspicions of being a certain football-covered synthesized portal in Wisconsin. Green fire rends the space behind it as it bellows a war cry, glowing red eyes zeroing in on Wes like a missile.

 

It paints the perfect Biblical Hellfire picture that Danny was hoping that it would.

 

" _AaaAAAoooAA!"_ Wes wails, distraught and flailing from side to side in Phantom's measly three-finger hold on his wrist that could probably destroy an entire building if it so inclined to. "Okay okay okay _okaokohmygodmygod – "_ a giant breath that is slightly choked on _"Masters!_ M-Mr. Masters who I know is the Wisconsin ghost because of that one time he did something weird visiting the DALV center and my dad works for DALV and he's always got long hours and I never see him so I went investigating – "

 

"Ooof course you did," Danny huffs.

 

" – and I accidentally saw something that I shouldn't have and I stole your dad's gadget last week when you were busy trying to deal with that genie ghost that I set loose – "

 

"Shit, that was you?" _Remind me to embarrass him in school later…_

 

" – so I thought I could take him but oh my god, oh my god I could _not_ take him, not under _any_ circumstances can I _ever_ take him," another big breath "please don't kill me please I just… I just wanted to help my dad!"

 

Phantom scoffs with a modicum of disgust as he hikes the boy up even further away from the gaining pack of blisteringly angry animals. He begins flying at a breakneck speed in the direction needed, creating the comical picture of a ghost the size of a wild hare princess-carrying a boy as lanky as the moose slavering after them.

 

Classic Ghost Zone humor right there.

 

"W-where are we going!?" Wes shouts into Danny's ear despite there being barely any wind resistance to speak over.

 

"I'm going to fix this," Phantom tells him, head-butting his big head out of the way when he tries to curl up too much, "and then I'm going to get rid of you!"

 

Unsurprisingly, it takes a bit more than just a few minutes to get to the approximate location of where Danny remembers Vlad's portal to be. During that time, Wes gets the lovely pants-shittingly scary view over Danny's shoulder of the army of animals out for his blood.

 

Total nightmare fuel.

 

It's when they're almost there that Danny gets this annoying inkling that Wes is groping his chest for some fucked up reason.

 

In fact, it turns out to be less of an inkling and more of a physical feeling.

 

"Um," Danny begins cattily, quickly morphing into the danger zone when his eyes flash a deeper glowing green and his voice echoes like a monster's. "What do you think you're doing?"

 

Wes apparently left his survival skills back when he was being swarmed by ectoplasmic danger noodles. "Why are you so flat?"

 

Danny hisses, beating down the urge to toss the human behind him to the mercy of the gaining enemies in a fit of rage. "Why are _you_ so _transphobic!?"_

 

"Wha – I'm not _transphobic!"_ Wes exclaims, kicking his feet out and momentarily dislodging Danny's flight path. "Dude, my _mom_ was a _dude!_ I _know_ I'm not trans- _PHOOOOOH SHIT!"_

 

"Tell me why I don't leave you behind where no one can find the body," Danny shouts down at the dangling Wes as he shakes the human around by one ankle, "because there won't _be_ a body to find if I do!"

 

They approach the only other known stable portal in the Ghost Zone, thunderous bellows and shrieks of the ghost animals behind them gaining as Danny takes aim and lobs his human cargo, face-first, into the swirling green not-depths like he's a pro baseball player giving the star pitch to the opposite team who has a blood feud going on behind the scenes.

 

The giant football is absent – which is great because that thing is _embarrassing as all hell –_ which makes Danny's move of tossing Wes (AKA "The Target") into the portal and getting the fuck out of dodge work so well. He hovers, invisible, above the opening now being flooded by the chasing animals.

 

Score.

 

When the waterfall of animals is down to just a few scampering weasels or fluttering birds (more dangerous than you'd think – just look at Hitchcock) Danny does a really cool backflip and glides his way into the portal.

 

Inside is a sight that will probably fuel Danny's phantasies (hahaHA holy shit) for weeks to come.

 

Wes is screaming, of course, clinging to a large banister, while a whirlpool of seemingly confused ectoplasmic wildlife stampede around the floor of Vlad's mansion, uprooting a whole lot of expensive stuff that the ghost-boy could care less about but would probably piss the owner off to some immeasurable degree.

 

Score number two.

 

Danny is just retrieving an irate Wes from his perch ("Why the hell should I trust you again?" "Stop bitching and grab on, Leia, or else I'll leave your complaining ass up here.") when Vlad Masters and another unknown person skid into the room with hair mussed and faces red.

 

In fact, they both look particularly debauched. Especially that red-haired man behind Vlad, what with his tie around his neck and his pants not even existing –

 

Score. Number. _Three._

 

" _Dad!"_

 

" _Vlad!"_

 

The two teens look at each other in an awkward moment of 'Who said Dad and who said Vlad?' before they brush it off and land on the floor, standing next to each other in a bout of camaraderie that will most likely be destroyed within the next few comedic revelations.

 

"What the h-hell, dad!?" Wes cries, throwing his arms out to the side and stepping forward with an angry face. "I thought you were – " A sputter, characteristic of the constantly stuttering boy, "You're _banging_ your _boss!?_ W-who is _Mr. Masters!?"_

 

"That's your _son!?"_ Vlad speaks up, looking stricken at the sight of the familiar meddling red-haired boy… who he essentially called a ghost-hit on.

 

 _Oh, shit,_ Danny thinks, a deadly smirk blossoming on his face _, this is just_ too _good._

 

"What's wrong, Vladdy?" Danny coos, sickeningly sweet, curling a bit of static-y white hair around his finger to seal the deal of being a total _brat._ "Something not go exactly to plan? Maybe you overlooked a couple of," he flicks green eyes between embarrassed father and raging son, _"important_ tidbits?"

 

Vlad's mien shifts from dread to murderous in only a couple of seconds, heating the room by a few nearly indiscernible degrees. To the young halfa with an ice core to challenge the older's fire core, it was all he needed to understand the beginnings of a fight.

 

"Why are there animals everywhere?" Wes' dad says faintly, looking mighty sheepish and very much pants-less.

 

"I haven't seen you in t-two days, dad!" Wes yells over the cacophony of noise, duly ignoring the two half-ghosts having a ho-down not but a few scant feet away. "Two! Days!"

 

The proceeding events could only be described as pure chaos. Wes' dad runs screaming out of the room just in time to miss Vlad's transformation and subsequent bodily crash with Phantom. Wes himself showcases his surprising strength and fleet-footedness by shimmying up the banister again to get at least marginally out of harm's way.

 

This small battle between halfas (and the surrounding ghost animals that were as untamed and panicking as ever) ends with Vlad getting stuck halfway between one of his smoldering upturned tables and a cackling Phantom escaping back through the portal with a screaming Wesley in tow.

 

"W-what are you doing!?" Wes screams ( _his voice is going to go out if he keeps this whole damsel thing up,_ Danny thinks with clarity and strange empathy) once again, beating a fist against Danny's chest in a weak attempt to show strength. "Let me go; my dad is still back there!"

 

"Um, all the way in bumfuck Wisconsin?" Danny intones snottily, jostling Wes a little bit just to show who's in charge here. "I don't think so. We have school tomorrow, genius. I'm not leaving you five hours away just so that you can have awkward and potentially dangerous conversation with your dad and your dad's _ghost boss."_

 

This seems to quiet Wes down a bit, as the young teen was much more unaware than the ghost carrying him of how portals and the Ghost Zone works. No wonder his dad didn't come home for long periods of time – the man was getting his freak on with a freak all the way in Wisconsin!

 

The rest of the trip is permeated by cold silence. Despite no longer being chased by a parade of ectoplasmic horrors out for a certain red-headed football player's blood, Danny goes just as fast in order to try and get the whole eccentric journey over with.

 

Thankfully, no one is in the lab when Danny touches down. In fact, no one has even been down to pick up the box of knickknacks that Danny dropped when he first chased the sneaking boy into the portal.

 

Speaking of…

 

"You're going to go upstairs right now and return the Jack-O-Nine-Tails to my parents and apologize." Danny tells the moping red-head decisively, floating slightly above him just to hammer in his authority.

 

A sad sigh, "Fine…"

 

"What? What's wrong now?" The ghost-boy grinds out, crossing his arms and waiting for the angsty spiel.

 

"I just…" Wes tosses his head back slightly, looking resigned. "I just don't know what to think now…" He begins to trudge sadly up the chrome lab steps, only stopping to turn around and give Danny a slimy, conniving look more suited to his narrow face. "Aren't you going to, y'know… Transform?"

 

"Ha!" Danny laughs boorishly and tosses his head back, "not on your life, Weston. I'm going up to my room and pretending that I never saw you or your messed up daddy problems down here." He gives the defiant class-mate a steely look. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll make no mention of me _at. All."_

 

Wesley gives him a poisonous look before stomping the rest of the way up. Despite this attitude, Danny can tell already that the teen wouldn't breath a word about the events in the Ghost Zone or Vlad's mansion.

 

Danny rolls his eyes and flaps his hands out loosely. "There endeth the dream," he says exasperatedly as he floats, intangible, up the necessary floors to pop into his room. Once there, he de-transforms and collapses face-first onto his bed with a tired groan.

 

What seems like barely a minute later he's popping his head up to the annoyed shout of his mother:

 

"Danny! Can you come down here and explain to me why you left your father's things all over the lab floor in a big mess and never cleaned it up?"

 

"Aw, shit," Danny grumbles and shoves his face back into his pillow.

 

_Fuck you, Wesley Weston._

.


End file.
